Tupper Lake, November 6, 2012 by Jeff Boucher

Monday, May 17, 2010

Kill Bill, Vol. ?????

This isn't a food post, rather one about the people I hang out with in the summer up at our camp in Cape Vincent.  

Last summer my good friend Steve and I decided to build a planter around this butt-ugly assemblage of meters for the power that sits in between the camps.  It was an overgrown mess. 

So one morning Steve clearcut  it.  We went and found some stone to put around it, took a trip to the nursery to get some mulch and viola', a planter was born.

Now that's all pretty unremarkable except that earlier the same morning, Steve had gone into his bathroom, and well, sat down on his throne, and the throne went through the floor.  Pretty funny,like realllly funny.  
Now Steve's the handiest guy I know, and within hours, he'd put in a new floor and new toilet (before we got into the planter).

So we're sitting around that evening admiring our handiwork, and someone gets the idea to put the used throne in the planter.  It was a joke, a gag, a temporary laugh-and boy did we laugh.  We planned to take it out the next day, until......

Anne, the owner of the property fell in love with the toilet and planted a bunch of annuals in it. I've got to admit it looked pretty good.  The toilet stayed there until the end of the season, and one day it disappeared.  Well didn't quite disappear, but the caretaker took it to the dumpster.  Old Don Render, it seems, had had enough of Steve's throne.  

So this spring rolls around and no throne.  And it wasn't like we were actively searching for one, it was just that the planter looked forlorn, empty, missing a key element.  

Simultaneously, Steve and another regular, Bill have this silent war going on.  It started with solar lights. You know the kind that you put in the ground around sidewalks and such.  

Bill put out 10. Steve put out 15.  Bill got these solar globes that change colors at night. Steve went and bought solar butterflys. 

This weekend Steve went for the coup de' grace.  He bought a  fountain to replace the throne.  It'll drive Bill nuts.  Steve called me yesterday and said Bill just stopped and stared at it, speechless, awestruck, dumbfounded.
Hence, Kill Bill Volume ???  has entered a new chapter. God knows what he'll buy to counterattack.  I just hope it isn't those plastic pink flamingos.

Here's the fountain in the planter.

And a close-up.
Now ain't she a beauty.

Stay tuned for the next installment of Kill Bill Vol. ????? coming soon to a blog near you.


  1. LOL, I didn't know men got in these kind of matches....maybe because I never really had neighbors close by! I love the fountain and BTW, the in-laws have their boat launched at Cape Vincent! We were told the water was really low this year!

  2. Water is wicked low- and men, well, I can only speak for myself, aren't too smart.